


With You

by asmodesgold



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: First Kiss, M/M, Slight fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-05
Updated: 2018-01-05
Packaged: 2019-02-28 13:49:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13272753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asmodesgold/pseuds/asmodesgold
Summary: Barba psychoanalyzes Sonny's reaction to the West Virginia incident in exchange for coffee.





	With You

**Author's Note:**

> This is my attempt to deal with THAT episode.
> 
> Stealing an idea from this post:
> 
> http://whisperingvictory.tumblr.com/post/169280569655/astronautmike-dexter-cloudcuckoolander527
> 
> credit goes to Astronaut_Milky and keraunoscopia.
> 
> Props to booyahkendell for being my beta.

Sonny huffed for the third time since they’d finished dinner and resumed work, and Rafael could no longer ignore it.

 

“Care to share with the class?” He asked, not looking up from his notes.

 

“Huh? Oh, sorry,” Sonny flipped to a different section of the book he’d been pouring through. “Just can’t stop thinkin’ about things.”

 

“Things? And here I thought you’d be vague.”

 

“It’s…” Sonny gave up the pretense of reading and leaned his chair back, staring intently at his pen as he clicked it rapidly in and out. “Last week Amanda and I almost kissed.”

 

Rafael blinked, reclining in his own chair. Whatever he had expected, it hadn’t been that.

 

“Almost?”

 

“Yeah.” The hand not currently assaulting his pen dug into his hair, causing it to fall out of its perfectly styled waves.

 

“We were on that trip that Liv sent us on, out in West Virginia, and we were hangin’ out in this bar, after we’d finished. You know, not as cops, or colleagues, or anything like that, just two _people_ and it was just...nice, and comfortable…” He trailed off.

 

Rafael remained silent, waiting for him to continue.

 

“And we had such a good time that there was this moment, right as I got her back to her room, where we were leaning in, and…”

 

“And?”

 

“And nothing.” Sonny tossed the pen onto the table. “I went back to my own room and nothing happened.”

 

“I presume you wanted something to happen.”

 

“Yeah, no, I mean,” he raked his fingers through his hair again, tousling it even more. “I was perfectly content with us not moving too quickly, I was perfectly fine with it. But then I get up the next morning, and the bartender from the night before is leaving her room!”

 

“And a week later you’re still sulking about it.”

 

“It’s not cause I feel _entitled_ to her or anything—”

 

“Good to know.”

 

“—or...or…” He groaned, burying his face in his hands. “I don’t know how to explain it.”

 

Rafael took a sip of his now lukewarm coffee, grimacing a bit.

 

“Just so you know, when people refer to me as ‘counselor’, they don’t mean in terms of the mental health profession.”

 

“Yeah, I know.” Sonny set his mouth into an unhappy line and flicked at his pen.

 

“But I will offer my insight—”

 

Sonny looked up, startled.

 

“—in exchange for a new cup of coffee,” he finished, dangling the nearly empty mug in front of him.

 

“Alright,” Sonny said, taking it as he rose and crossed the office to the little coffee maker, setting about brewing a fresh pot.

 

“If the two of you hadn’t nearly kissed, would you still have been this upset about seeing this man leave her room?”

 

“No, of course not, she sleeps with guys all the time. Not that there’s anything wrong with that!” He hurriedly added.

 

“And you’ve never been bothered by it.”

 

“No,” Sonny answered slowly, the gears in his head turning, “but this was different.”

 

“How many people has she slept with and not pursued a relationship with?”

 

“I...I can’t say for sure.”

 

“More than a few?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“And how many have you?”

 

Sonny stared at him, the machine behind him hissing and sputtering out its last dregs.

 

“How many people have you kissed without any intention of ever pursuing a relationship?”

 

He gaped at him, only looking away when the coffee maker gave one last high-pitched sound.

 

“That’s your problem right there,” Rafael said matter-of-factly to Sonny’s back. “You were getting involved with someone who had completely different values than you, at least as far as relationships go. So what to her was nothing, to you was the two of you taking the first steps towards becoming a permanent, monogamous couple.”

 

Sonny wordlessly turned back around, steaming mug in hand.

 

“So you’re upset because, to you, she cheated,” Rafael finished triumphantly. He extended his hand. “I’ll take my coffee now.”

 

The cup was handed to him and he wrapped his fingers around it, greedily leaching its warmth. A squeak from across the table signalled that his companion had sat back down, but he didn’t look up, opting to close his eyes and enjoy the first sip of fresh coffee. One of these days he would have to compliment the detective on his skills as a barista.

 

“You’re right.”

 

“Don’t sound so surprised,” Rafael lightly scoffed with a grin.

 

“I’m an idiot.”

 

“You’re going to have to be more specific.”

 

“I get too invested too quickly. I’m an idiot. I should take things slower, and—”

 

Rafael frowned.

 

“That’s not what I meant at all.”

 

“I should be able to not be so—so—so _intense_. I need to be able to not care so much—”

 

“Alright, back it up. None of what you just said is true, and is a gross misinterpretation of what I said.” He leaned forward, getting as close to Sonny’s personal space as he could without physically climbing onto the table.

 

“You weren’t wrong in getting emotionally involved with Rollins anymore than she was wrong for sleeping with someone else. Where you went wrong was choosing her in the first place. Just think about it, had the two of you actually gotten together, how do you think that relationship would’ve gone?”

 

Sonny’s brow furrowed as he considered this.

 

They fell into an easy silence, Rafael straightening in his chair and rearranging his notes.

 

“You’re right,” Sonny repeated.

 

Rafael hummed in response, trying to re-immerse himself into the fictional cross he was planning for the defense’s witness on Thursday.

 

“We’re good friends, good partners, but I...she never lets me talk like a lawyer.” Before Rafael could ask for clarification, Sonny rushed on. “Every time I try to, she cuts me off, and says stuff like, ‘I like you better as a cop’, or somethin’ like that. And yeah, I get that sometimes I can go off, but it’s like…she only wants to see the parts of me she likes, you know? And I should be with someone who wants to see all of me.”

 

They sat quietly for another moment until Sonny suddenly chuckled. Confused by the quick change, Rafael abandoned his notes yet again.

 

“What?”

 

“No, it’s—I was just thinking how you let me ramble on all the time. Is that because you like seeing me make a fool of myself?”

 

“Not always,” Rafael smirked.

 

Sonny snorted.

 

“Well, life would be easier if you and I could just date.”

 

Rafael blinked at Sonny, who was staring off into a corner with a grin on his face. Rafael didn’t move, waiting for the detective to turn back to him again so that Sonny could see the look on his face.

 

He was pretty sure his eyebrow had never been quirked with so much snark before.

 

Sonny gave a light laugh and sighed, running his fingers through his hair again, this time in an attempt to fix it. His eyes caught Rafael’s.

 

“What?”

 

Rafael didn’t answer, didn’t move. Minutes passed as Sonny searched his face like he was trying to find the pieces to put the puzzle together, and Rafael remained patiently still, waiting for those pieces to click. Suddenly Sonny’s eyes began widening, and a blush spread across his cheeks, his mouth falling open into a silent _oh_.

 

“Oh,” Rafael agreed.

 

The clock on the wall continued to tick. He told himself that it had just been something thrown carelessly out there, a joke between friends, nothing more.

 

“So,” Sonny said.

 

“So.”

 

“Do you kiss people with the expectation of a permanent, monogamous relationship?”

 

The corners of Rafael’s mouth were tugged upwards as his eyebrow fell.

 

“With few exceptions,” he answered.

 

Sonny leaned forwards over the table but Rafael stayed put, smile never straying. When Sonny couldn’t reach him, he didn’t stop, opting instead to climb onto the table, knocking his book to the floor.

 

It was true, Rafael loved seeing Sonny — in all his gangly, passionate Italian glory — make a fool of himself, but only because Sonny did it when he was being completely earnest; putting all of himself out there without any filters or angles, honest and open unlike anyone else Rafael had ever met.

 

And Sonny kissed like a fool.

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
